It’s Valentines: Time to Fall Back in Love

Fall Back In LoveValentines Day is coming up and no couple gets married with the intention of getting divorced but it’s a disturbing trend that has continued over the decades. What happens? How do couples that start off in love with stars in their eyes end up despising each other? The answer is simple: boredom.

We’ve all heard of the seven year itch and, while it may come sooner or later for some couples, that itch is almost inevitable. Couples gradually fall into a routine, kids come and what started as a happy couple turns into two people who barely grunt a hello at each other.

If this sounds like you and your mate, or if you want to avoid it happening at all, you’ll need to put some serious effort into your relationship. The good news is that instilling a bit of excitement into your married life doesn’t have to be difficult. What better day to get into your new love habits than Valentine’s Day? Here are several easy ways that you can keep the spark in your relationship:


Make no mistake: I am not talking about date “nights”. The problem with date nights is that they, too, become humdrum and dull. Eventually, date night becomes one more chore in an already busy week. Rather than schedule your dates, be spontaneous! This Valentine’s Day, pop by your partner’s office during lunch and take them out to eat. If you both love movies, light a few candles in the evening, put a movie on and snuggle under a quilt together. Dates don’t have to be lavish to be exciting; they just need to be unexpected.

Do the Chores

I know that chores don’t sound exciting but you’ll be surprised at how much your spouse will appreciate your thoughtfulness. If, for instance, your husband mows the lawn on Saturday, mow it for him before he gets home from work on V Day. If your wife cleans the bathroom when she gets up in the morning, do it before she wakes up. Taking on your spouse’s tasks occasionally will let them know that you appreciate and notice the things that they do.

Communicate creatively

Let’s face it: after years of living together there just isn’t that much to talk about anymore. Many couples fall into the trap of non-communication. Don’t worry; you don’t have to sit down and share your thoughts on world peace. You can, however, leave little post-it hearts on the mirror where she’ll see them or write a note on a napkin and pack it in a lunch. Little touches like these will make your spouse smile and may just earn you some brownie points along the way.

Remember Important Dates

Yes, this is aimed at the men but, believe it or not, women forget important dates, too! If you are the forgetful type, sit down with a calendar or your mobile phone and record important dates at the beginning of the year. Valentine’s Day, your anniversary and your spouse’s birthday, as well as any other dates that hold significance for one or both of you. You don’t have to buy lavish gifts on the dates but doing something small without being reminded will be appreciated.

Give Each Other Space

Being part of a couple is a wonderful thing but we tend to lose our individuality. If your spouse has an interest that you don’t share, plan a special event for them this February 14th. For instance, if your wife loves to knit but doesn’t often have time to do so, sign her up for a class or seminar. If your husband loves to golf but stays home to please you, call his friends and have them kidnap him for a golf outing. Everyone needs some “me” time and providing that time for your spouse shows that you care.

If you’ve got the itch, it’s up to you to scratch it. Your relationship isn’t going to work if you don’t put work into it. You don’t have to go to extreme measures to put the spark back into your marriage; you just need to strike the match.

Marriage Counseling is something close to Marilyn Murphy’s heart, since it helped save her parents’ relationship and kept her childhood home intact. How to fix a relationship became a real focus of interest for Marilyn, as she furthered her education in helping others achieve positive outcomes.

Karla Urwitz
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