Emotional Development in Children
He was in his mid-sixties. His father had passed on a couple of years ago and he was dealing with father issues. “He never told me he loved me. He did things for me, but he never told me he loved me.”
If you’re younger than 40 you may be surprised that someone in their sixties, or even eighties, would still be yearning to know their parents loved them. It’s something we all want to know. We want the affirmation of their affection and respect for us. We want them to be proud of us.
- Are you a parent? Read the last paragraph again. You need to tell your children you love them. You need to do it often. They need to know.
If you say, “They know I do. Look at all I do for them,” you’re avoiding the real reason why you won’t tell them. If you say, “I just don’t know how,” fear not. I’m going to give you step by step directions.
You want to be a good parent, right? Even when you make mistakes, right? Tell them you love them. If your child is an infant, tell him or her now. Do it every night. Tuck her in and say, “I love you.” When he gets up in the morning, give him a hug and say those three magic words.
If you’re not used to saying it, it’s easier when they’re infants. If your children are older, even adults, you might be reluctant to suddenly say the words. If you’re reluctant then you’re afraid. Find out what you’re afraid of. They need to hear you… or at least tell them in a letter. They need to know… just like you needed to know.
- Still reluctant? Time to learn a new skill. You learn by practicing. Put a photograph of your child in front of you. Now, go ahead, tell the photo. Yeah, it may seem silly. Do it anyway. Practice until you feel comfortable.
Now choose a time to say the words. For younger children bedtime is perfect. For older ones, just pick a time. It doesn’t matter if you hesitate and stammer. Just get those words out.
If your child is an adult and they live far away, tell them on the phone. If you are really so afraid… again, thinking it’s stupid or they should already know is about your fear… write them a note. It can be simple, “I know I may not have told you, but I want you to know I love you.”
If they answer, “I know, Mom,” “I know, Dad,” don’t think you wasted your time. They’ll tell someone, maybe their kids,… it’s the only time she said… it’s the only time he said… I love you.
- Cathy Chapman, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker assisting people achieve their dreams of health, wealth and abundance through Mind-Body Psychology. She works from a spiritual and energetic model employing BodyTalk and Psych-K to balance the body and change beliefs. Cathy offers free of charge a powerful spiritual healing tool anyone can use. Get your Soul Healing Prayer now at Distance Healing Group.
Looking for more information? Here are a few books that may help with child emotional development.