I am posting this mostly for myself. We are going to be broaching this subject soon and I am terrified!Toilet training is a learning process, not a disciplinary process, and a complicated one at that! Your child has to understand what you want, and then has to learn how to do it. In addition to understanding the bodily sensations, getting to the bathroom and getting clothes off, a child must first constrict sphincter muscles to achieve control, and then relax them to eliminate. Obviously there is a lot to learn. Gaining bowel and bladder control is a skill and fortunately children usually like to learn new skills.
The mastery of skills usually follows a pattern. First comes bowel regularity often followed by bowel control. Daytime bladder control often comes next but for many children this can happen simultaneously, and finally later (often much later), comes nighttime bladder control.