Friendships: Is It Okay They Come and Go?
I am sorry readers, I haven’t written anything personal is quite some time. I have been so busy with life that time has just gotten away from me. One thing I have recently gone though is losing a friendship. Surprisingly, I am okay with the outcome. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe yes, maybe no but only I can be the judge of that.
We Aren’t Kids Anymore
We have been friends since high school, and man did we have some great times. We are now both grown up, married, kids, and living in different towns. I feel I have grown up so much and yet, while grown, I still feel she is on the “world revolves around me” ride. I think it started a year and a half ago when we got into a tiff, over something I had posted which she thought was about her but not, to which she insulted my husband. Now anyone that knows my husband knows he isn’t social and, well, she isn’t his friend she is mine. While they have always gotten along, he happened to be in the middle of something when she popped by. She also believes that “online” friends are not real people. Go on fellow blogger friends, we are as real as they come. I have had more conversations with not “real people” that I have had with in person people. Ever since that day, we haven’t really talked. I would post an occasional comment on her Facebook but as the months went on, it was few and few. I posted a funny eCards with funny sayings like” You smell like drama and a headache please get away from me” That is when it happened….
I Got Unfriended and I Am Okay
That was the day, I believe, she unfriended me. Again, I think, she assumed I was “speaking” to her. Thinking that everything I say is about her. God for bid if I think something is actually funny. Do I mind that she unfriended me? I would be stupid to think it didn’t hurt a bit, but here is where it’s different for me. I saw this coming years ago and had already prepared moving on without her in my life. Why didn’t I try more? The way I looked at it, it was a one way street. I was the one going to her house (40 min away), the one that usually made the first call. Here is an example, I lived in one house for 12 years and I bet she saw it twice maybe three times. She used the excuse that she was scared to drive in this town. Now I don’t live in Chicago or LA, I live in a small town about the size of a Chicago suburb. If she wanted to maintain this friendship, she needed to pony up and do her part. Sorry just the way I see it.
So how do I just move on without being sad or crushed that I lost a good friend. Well I am sad but mostly because she didn’t put in the effort that I did. I can move on because I know that people just move on in life differently. I truly believe we have grown apart and want different things in life and that is okay. I am not living in the past, I am looking forward. I am not the same person I was back then and she has stated to me that she is. So you see already where we have grown apart. I need the negativity in my life to be less. While I know it will never be 100% gone, I am okay with this move. While we share mutual friends on Facebook, I did make it so I didn’t have to see her comments. I know that some of her comments might get to me so I just want to avoid it altogether. It’s a #WYCWYC moment. I am focused on helping my ADHD child in a natural way with Young Living essential oils (ask me!), making a stronger marriage, losing weight, and over all staying positive.
I read a great article by a fellow blogger, yep she is real, that really hit home with me today. That I don’t have to be perfect in life. I don’t have to always eat clean or have perfect friendships but do What You Can When You Can. That might mean this minute I am doing it right and in 15 min might do it wrong and that is okay. I am doing what I can do for ME and nobody else. Nobody is perfect but I am living in the moment I am in and holding my head high.
To my friend I sadly lost, while I know you probably will never read this, not sure she remembers I have a blog, I thank you for the times we have had and wish you the best in what life has in store for you. I will take my fork in the road to the right and you to the left and I bid you and your family safe travels.