Adoption is a worthy, generous choice that gives needy children a loving home and family. How do you know, though, if it is the right choice for you and your family? Here are 5 questions to consider if you are thinking about adoption.

Why do you want to adopt?

This is the first and most fundamental question you should ask. What prompted you to first consider adoption? There are a few reasons you shouldn’t consider adoption: you feel guilted into it; you try to use it fulfill a need or fix something in the family; you imagine the adopted to child to be a “replacement”. Your choice to adopt should be based more on the want to give the child a home, and that you have the ability to do so. Whatever your motivation, this will be your mantra when things get tough during the process, the reason that pushed you forward. Prospective parents set the tone for the adoption, so make sure the tone you set is the right tone.

Is everyone committed?

Adoptions is for the long haul—it’s not a part-time or short-term commitment. Are you fully committed to it? You need to be steadfast in your decision when your adopted child might not reciprocate your love for a while. Or maybe some personality traits are manifested that you weren’t expecting. You have to be willing to give up your perfect, ideal adopted child for the one that you committed to.

Are the other members of your family equally committed? The addition of a child to the family (either biologically or via adoption) can really affect any other children in the home. Talk to your children to gauge their readiness for such a change. Learn how they feel about the choice to adopt, and take their feelings into account. You must also be certain that your partner or spouse is equally engaged in the adoption process. Are they more hesitant to adopt, hoping instead for a biological child? Have many discussions about the choice to adopt, and make sure you are on the same page before even beginning the adoption process.

Is the time right?

While it doesn’t do you any favors to put something off just because you’re worried it’s not “the right time”, there are some important timing points to consider. Times of transition are not well-suited for adoption. Transition times might include: changing schools, moving, changing family dynamics, death, or a birth. If everyone in your family is already transitioning in their own way, who will help your new child make their transition into the family? Choose a time when the only major transition will be the adoption process. Life is constantly changing, but that isn’t an excuse for a new child to get “lost in the shuffle” because a family is too busy to welcome them home.

Do you have support?

While everyone in your immediate family may be committed to going through with the adoption, it’s important to have support outside your family as well. Extended family like grandparents and cousins can be vital additions to a child’s development and feeling of belonging. Do you have people that will go to bat for you and your child when people question your choice to adopt? In addition to family, your new child may need additional support and help. Are you willing to find therapists or other professionals that can provide help to a struggling child when it’s beyond your abilities?

What about finances?

While financials shouldn’t be the first or only consideration for adoption, it is important to take them into account. The truth is, it costs money to adopt. It also costs money to raise a child. Can your family afford the process of finding the perfect child for your family? And once you find him or her, can you afford to provide the things they need? Most children that are up for adoption are there because of poverty—their parents gave them up in hopes of a better situation and life. Fulfill these parents’ dreams for their children by providing a stable home.

Discuss these questions with your family to decide if adoption may be right for you. If you choose not to adopt, you are still a good person—you will just find other ways to help those in need. If you do choose to proceed with the adoption process, congratulations! Be sure to research agencies and firms well to find the best fit for your family.

Author Byline:

Drew Kobb, enjoys studying law, and he stays busy consulting for Donnell Law Group. In addition to studying civil law, loves long distance running and considers himself a health and fitness enthusiast. His medical interests range all over the field, and Drew highlights that range on his blog, Dr. Ouch.