Your wedding was always meant to be the happiest day of your life.
Very few people actually go into their marriage with the intention of divorcing. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a crystal all you probably never even saw it coming. It’s hard to take advice on how to behave if you do have to go through such a difficult experience but it’s if you’ve got children it’s very important to make sure they’re always put first.
No matter how you feel about your partner it’s not fair of you to influence how your child feels about them especially if your children are too young to really understand. As painful as it maybe for you it’s vital you don’t talk about your partner in a derogatory manner when the children are around.
Never put your children in the middle or expect them to act as an intermediate.
If you’re unable to communicate with your partner in a civil manner you should use your divorce solicitors and not your children. Even if you child doesn’t understand the message they will pick up on body language and tone of voice. This could be very upsetting for your children.
Don’t ask your children to choose between the two of you.
This means you shouldn’t ask them directly who they prefer and it also means no gifts or other bribes either. If they are old enough to really understand the implications of choosing which parent they’d prefer to live with this should be listened to but at the same time both adults must have the children’s best interest at heart.
Don’t forget to talk to your children.
Whether you divorce is causing you pain or anger or even a sense of relief the emotions your children are likely to be feeling will be much worse. They won’t really understand what’s going on especially if they’re young. It’s important they feel they can come to either of you if they have questions or are just upset. At the same time it’s equally important you don’t over compensate. Showering them with gifts and treats because you feel guilty will do more harm than good.
Keep the legalities of your divorce to yourself.
It’s important that your children know they won’t be living with both parents and more. If you’re going to be moving the children you should try to include them where possible. However, the technicalities of your divorce case should be kept between you and your partner.
Kimberlie Hutson works for Bennett Griffin who are experts in family and personal law and are appreciate the sensitivity and individuality of each individual case.
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