Dating after 40 is not for the lighthearted. You have to grow a really thick skin quickly. Its a rough world out there folks. I didn’t realize how many crazy and creepy people are out there. Wow
My 3 year divorsary is approaching, which I couldn’t be happier about, and I still find myself single. I guess that is okay but considering my marriage, I have been alone a lot longer than that. I took some time, and counseling, after the divorce to get myself in a place where I was ready to date. I believe you should deal with one ending relationship before entering another. So when I was ready to date I found myself wondering WTF is dating? It had been 16 years since I went on a date and I didn’t even do a whole lot of it before I was married. How do people date these days? Of course now everything is online. You have so many sites like Match.com, Plenty of Fish, eHarmony, and Tinder. What do these all have in common? Pretty much the same people on all of them, I know I have tired all of them. I’m 44 and the bar scene just isn’t me, never really has been. What I have gained in the past 2 years of trying to date is creepy people, sex craved guys, down right rude guys, a ton (and I mean a ton) of dick pics, married guys (OMG so many), some really nice guys who I can call friends, and I did manage to snag a boyfriend for awhile.
Worst First Date
Let me just say when you hear the words “That’s my wife” it takes the first date to a whole different level. I won’t go to far into it but I met this guy online of course. We decided to go meet at the mall to talk and walk around. I always meet in public, be safe ladies. So I knew he was separated. Now before you all go jumping on me for meeting a still married guy. I know some people who have been separated for years(for the life of me I don’t know why) so I was giving him a chance to explain. Anyway, while we were walking I remembered I didn’t ask how long he had been separated. When I asked I got this answer “Oh just 2 weeks”. Peeps you should have seen my face. That isn’t separated that is a we had a fight and I moved out. We carried on talking and walking. By this time it was about 10pm the mall was closed so he walked me to my car. While we were out talking he mutters those words. Now anyone that knows me will tell you I hardly even am speechless. Well I was. I hadn’t a clue what to say. She got out of her car, said some things that frankly I can’t even remember, and I finally say in a slow way “I’m gonna go” and got in my car and left. Runner up to this would be my date was drunk when he meet me at the bar and later in the night he took his pants off and got thrown in jail for public intox. Another time for that story.
Best First Date
Well I can’t really say I have an “OMG this is amazing first date”but I have had a few really nice ones. Most were dinner and drinks, I did go go-karting once, one brought me crayons and a coloring book for my “I’m not adulting right now” tent. I am looking forward to the OMG amazing first date moment. If you know anyone in Iowa…. kidding, or am I?
So I just (last March) got out of a 8 month relationship with a great guy that was just too busy to have time to put into a relationship. He set the bar high because we had so many adventures together. So now I am just getting back out there and trying not to get frustrated at the same time. I’ve only recently started looking again and now I remember why it’s so frustrating. Dating after 40 is hard work. Most guys have been there done that with the wife and kids and now they just want to have fun and have sex. Sorry this girl isn’t looking just that. I swear my therapist loves to hear my stories. She has job security with me, I will be going for life at this rate. Guys are superficial these days to. Yes I am no frickin Barbie (she needs to eat a cheeseburger) but guys are so hung up on looks to see an amazing person on the inside. You have to have patience these days, which I am sure I was born without, to date and find the right guy for you.
Hang tough my over 40 ladies. Right now I still have hope that I won’t become a crazy cat lady later in life. Tomorrow might be a different story but for today I am hopeful.